do support all the bands
There are tons of reasons we go to shows: to meet with friends or make new ones, to get out of the house and feel the vibrations of a loud set, or to see our friends' bands. Whatever the reason, it is always best to support all the bands on the bill - even if they suck! Supporting the bands means showing up to the show on time to catch the first acts, staying for the last band even when your friends' band already played, buying merch to help touring bands pay for gas, or even offering touring bands a place to stay so they don't have to sleep in the smelly van again. If you're really about it, stay for every band's whole set to show that their efforts are worth it. Maybe even check out their Bandcamp or YouTube when you get home! If you're in a band, then you know how good it feels to have a solid crowd your entire set - and how bad it feels to play to a room of three people. When you support all the bands, local acts are encouraged to play more shows and touring acts will remember your city and make it a must-visit for future tours!
don't get too fucked up
Going to shows pairs with drinking beer and smoking weed like going to a movie pairs with popcorn and candy. There is something very special about drinking a cold PBR in front of a touring band's Marshall full stack, but trust me when I say that no one wants to be around the guy who is half passed out off of Percocet or Molly at every show. When you drink or drug to the point that you're unable to participate, you are not being a good show goer. Not only will the local scene be worried about you and feel responsible to take care of you rather than supporting the bands they paid to see, but the touring acts will associate your city with drug use and avoid it on future tours. Locals who don't know you will see you laid out on the grass high off of some street drug and naturally assume the worst about you, your group of friends, or your band out of fear. Venue owners will be nervous to book you or your friends if you're always black-out drunk or drugged out at their events. House venues will be scared to host events. Ultimately, the scene as a whole will degrade if it just becomes an excuse for folks to get high. Know your limits and be thoughtful of yourself and others at shows.
Drug and alcohol addiction is rampant in alternative communities where we feel like we don't fit in, especially the LGBTQIA+ community. Addiction is a mental health issue, and you should seek help if you find yourself regularly over-using.
do dance
Dancing is one of the best parts of going to shows, but every scene does it differently. Some scenes don't mosh at all because it puts certain groups of people in danger; some scenes only pogo and don't push one another around; some scenes go all out and have more wind-millers and karate-kickers than you can count. Here in Pensacola, we are famous for the push pit: a group running in a circle and pushing people into others. This is all to say that every scene has its own etiquette that you will need to pick up on before jumping in the pit!
Regardless of how your scene dances, there are a few rules that are consistent everywhere. Start slowly in the pit and progress with those around you; a good rule of thumb is to let the smaller punks in the pit set the tone so that no one gets hurt. Never be the person going hardest in the pit (especially if you are a cis male) - only go as hard as the people around you. Always pick people up if they fall and return items that have fallen out of pockets. Never take your anger out in the pit; it is strictly for fun! Finally, never force a pit; no one wants to be grabbed and slung into a crowd against their will. The beauty of the pit is that everyone comes together of their own will to create a larger moving body in response to the music.
don't take over
Picture this: your band is super excited to play a show and you all practice twice a week for a month to make sure you give a performance to remember. You take off work, maybe buy a few new pedals, and invite all of your friends to come support. The time has finally come for your band to play, and you couldn't be more excited. During your set, some guy decides he deserves the spotlight and begins to take over. He starts moshing ten times harder than everyone around him, pours beer on his head, tries to take the microphone and sing (even though he's never seen your band), and ends up pushing people so hard in the crowd that someone knocks into your gear. The guy trying to steal the spotlight doesn't care about the band that's playing, the people who came to see them, or the booker who wants his shows to be safe and accessible. In fact, the guy is a total asshole.
All this is to say that you are not a good show goer if you take over an event in any way. Do not take over the pit and become "pit king" by going way harder than everyone else; this stops people from dancing for a band they might really enjoy, and the band loses the opportunity to see people enjoy their music. Do not take over the spotlight by grabbing people's mics or trying to go on stage while they are performing; it is their show, and the focus should be on them. Do not take over the event by creating unnecessary tension and making the space feel unsafe; people are less likely to come to shows when they see an asshole compromise the event because he wants everyone to pay attention to him. People who take over shows ruin the experience for the bands, the audience, the venue owner, the booker, and everyone else - so don't fucking do it!
do be respectful
For all the fuck you's and fuck off's in our lyrics, punk is a genre centered around respect and community. We have graduated from the age of hypermasculinity and entered into the world of radical kindness. This kindness is what makes punk a safe community for the weird, the queer, the outcast, and the misunderstood. When people are rejected from their families because of their queerness or transness, because of their religion, or because of their affinities, they look for a community that will respect them in a way that society at large will not. This is why a good show goer is always respectful. We strengthen our scene and our communities when we respect other show goers, bands, bookers, venues, artists, photographers, etc. It is important for the longevity of the scene to keep good intentions in everything you do. I have made some of the best friends I have ever met because of the scene, and all it took was respect and acceptance. We are all here for different reasons, but it's up to us to become one community.